Get the Confidence of a Four-Year-Old
Posted on 06 February 2008
When I was four years old, my mother bought an old bicycle at a thrift shop. Her intention was to donate it to a family that had a few older kids. At that age, I didn’t have much of a philanthropic bent. All I remember is being enraged that there was a shiny blue bike in the garage, and it was for another kid. I begged my mother relentlessly to have the bike for my own, but she always told me that I was too young to ride a bike. Finally, I said, “So what if I learn how to ride it? Are you going to give it away then?”
Feeling safe in the knowledge that her timid four-year-old was not going to learn how to ride the bike in the next week or so, she said yes. After all, it didn’t even have training wheels.
As soon as I got her answer, I considered the bike mine. I didn’t think for a moment that I wouldn’t learn. Four year olds can have lots more confidence than ability, as those of you with children probably already know. They think they can fly, for crying out loud. This is why you have to supervise them around trees, ladders and accessible roofs.
For about two hours, I got on the bike and fell off the bike. On. Off. This repeated itself probably fifty times. Finally, I stayed upright for a few seconds. After that, it was only a few minutes before I was cruising around the block on my new bike. I kept that bike for years—it had been too big for me—and it always reminded me that with enough determination I could get what I wanted.
Sometimes as an adult, I’ve left that determination sitting somewhere in a dusty garage with the bike. Something happened to that confidence that I had when I was four years old, and I’ve worked hard to get it back. How can you get the confidence of a four-year-old?
1. Remember what it was like to be four. Or three. Or five. However far back your long-term memory happens to take you. Think about all of the chances you took, and then think about it—that was YOU!
2. Make a list of things that you have accomplished so far. Read it over. See? You rock!
3. Take risks. When you were four, you were ready to show your mom how you could fly like a bird from the top of the car. I’m not suggesting that you jump off of a high building, but investing more than 20 bucks in your latest venture might be a positive start. (Don’t be a victim of tiny thinking!
4. Don’t worry about what other people think. When you were four, you didn’t worry whether or not the neighbor down the street would think you were a loser if you fell off your bike. Everyone had visible signs of failure—skinned knees. You just picked yourself up and went on. Being afraid to take risks because of other people’s evaluations of you means that you have forgotten that they have their own failures. At least if they’re trying.
5. Keep on keeping on. Another thing I did when I was a kid was make some wings and try to fly. Over and over again I would run down the hill, flapping. Alas, after a couple of hours of this, I got nowhere. At least I tried. I proved to myself that I couldn’t fly. If I had only tried two or three times, I might not have known for another couple of years, right? You never know when you’re going to hit it. Try to fly. Try to ride a bike. Try to start a company.
6. Don’t be afraid to demand what you want. While this is not appropriate all of the time, there are times in life where people will plant themselves very firmly between you and your goals. When this happens, step up to the plate and don’t budge. Channel that inner four-year-old, and most people will give in.
Four year olds have big dreams. Just ask one of them what they want to do when they grow up sometime. I guarantee that the answer will not be, “Be a person who types all day and worries about money”. No worries. Make it happen.
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